How to handle racism, while traveling to work

 Racism is often a hotly debated topic. However, due to the historical context, prevalence, and cognitive dissonance often associated with it and the level of discomfort it brings everyone. While I have grown up with the privilege of learning all of the nuances and scenarios where Race will inevitably play a role, It never ceases to amaze me when a situation arises. All that you've learned is now put to the test. 

 

Since this societal issue will never go away on its own, I found it best to discuss my latest encounter with this and present some actionable tips you can take should you ever find yourself in a similar situation. Therefore, this post will detail my latest meeting with handling racism on my way to work and what I did as a result. 

While traveling on my way to work, it was a rainy day, and I took a different bus towards the hub train station. While getting on the bus, a gentleman and I entered and displayed our passes to the bus driver. After I walked past him and made it to my seat, I was summoned to return to the bus driver. He then proceeded to embarrass me by asking me about the bus pass I showed him. When I questioned what he was asking me and why he doubled down and played dumb. The interaction went as follows: 

 

Bus Driver: Hey, what's that, that you showed me?

Me: My Rail pass. (Proceeds to show him the same pass, again)

Bus Driver: What is that? I don't know what that is.....

Me: *Sweeping look of confusion crosses my face* Ummm, it's my Train pass; I use it all the time. It's always cross-honored.

Bus Driver: How many bus zones are it? 

Me: It says Two (points to the number) 

Bus Driver: I've never seen that before. I don't know anything about that. 

Me: *Still confused* Ummm, I don't know what to tell you. No one else has complained. Your colleagues haven't told me anything.

Bus Driver: Waves me off. 

 

While I walk to my seat, I see two caucasian male passengers in front of me laughing hysterically. They were both elderly, above 70, and the one who wore the red "maga" hat and had the yellowest teeth I've ever seen. I never knew teeth could turn that color. 

 

I then noticed that the guy who got on the bus behind me was still being grilled by the bus driver before letting him on the bus. The two front passengers were still giggling like school girls. I then noticed that the next woman who got on the bus received the same treatment as me, and another Hispanic man who requested a stop missed it as the bus driver kept driving. When he finally did stop, He berated the man saying, "I don't stop there; this isn't the twenty-one" He then proceeded to drive the bus like he resented his job. Meanwhile, the two front passengers laughed as if they were in on it. 

I took pictures of the bus, the men, and any other identifying information. I then called the transit authority number, filed a complaint, and provided the photos. Despite being met with kindness and understanding, being provided with the complaint number, and a secondary call with an apology, no further action was taken regarding my complaint. The gentleman mentioned that this driver was a union worker, and it's usually a process to get rid of them. While appreciating the apologetic phone call, I was saddened at the thought that this man had gotten away with his disrespectful behavior. 

 

 This is where I want to discuss the importance of taking action each time a situation arises, regardless of the outcome. Cultivating this habit and mindset will remind you that you don't have to tolerate being insulted, but it will better prepare you to take the correct course of action as you will know the proper channels to pursue. 

The massage you never knew you needed, and have to try

 I never used to take self-care seriously as it was initially promoted to me as a fad, a trend, the next cool bandwagon to jump on. It was never talked about as something of importance, it was often discouraged as anyone seen participating in it, were perceived as lazy time wasters. As a result, whenever my friend would invite me to the Spa with her I wasn't very enthusiastic about it. 

I still went, as I wanted to hang out with her, but I'd never initiate this as an activity for us to do. She always liked to get massages and exfoliation baths, while I enjoyed the bathing pools and saunas.  I didn't utilize the other services as I thought it to be a waste of money. I could do my nails and feet in a nail salon; I exfoliate at home and I prefer to soak in baths that I put together. Massages never did anything for me so I didn't bother with them.  The few times I gave them a try I was often disappointed as both Spas and Massage Parlours would leave me feeling "beat up" and worse than before. I learned to live with the aches and pains as the tension was never relieved so I didn't see the point in getting massages regularly. 

 I was maintaining until my left shoulder started throbbing in excruciating pain. It felt like my shoulder was physically separating from my body. As if it had been bluntly cut by a saw-blade and was now falling away from my neck.  The worst part is it would happen suddenly and randomly. It would start out as a minor pull, then that discomfort quickly grew to a painful knot. 

It always happened while I wasn't doing anything strenuous. While I was sitting at my desk at work, in my car, on the couch, anywhere and time where I was sitting still it happened. On the off chance, it happened during a workout, my shoulders would tighten up and squeeze together. It would slowly loosen once I stretched. No longer being able to endure this, I reached out to my friend Johnny and asked if he had any openings. He scheduled me in for Sunday; and although I didn't believe in what massages could do, I didn't know what else to do.